Since humanÂiÂty has had music, we’ve also had bad music. And bad music can come from only one source: bad musiÂcians. Despite such perÂsonÂal techÂnoloÂgies of relÂaÂtiveÂly recent invenÂtion as noise-canÂcelÂing headÂphones, bad music remains nigh unavoidÂable in the modÂern world, issuÂing as it conÂstantÂly does from the sound sysÂtems installed in groÂcery stores, gyms, passÂing autoÂmoÂbiles, and so on. And against the bad musiÂcians responÂsiÂble we have less recourse than ever, or at least less than medieval EuroÂpeans did, as shown by the RipÂley’s Believe It or Not video above on the “shame flute,” a non-musiÂcal instruÂment used to punÂish crimes against the art.
“The conÂtrapÂtion, which is essenÂtialÂly a heavy iron flute – although you probÂaÂbly wouldn’t want play it – was shackÂled to the musician’s neck,” writes MadÂdy Shaw Roberts at ClasÂsic FM. “The musician’s finÂgers were then clamped to the keys, to give the impresÂsion they were playÂing the instruÂment. FinalÂly, just to furÂther their humilÂiÂaÂtion, they were forced to wear the flute while being paradÂed around town, so the pubÂlic could throw rotÂten food and vegÂetaÂbles at them.” SureÂly the mere prospect of such a fate made many music-mindÂed chilÂdren of the oldÂen days think twice about slackÂing on their pracÂtice sesÂsions.
The sight of this flute of shame, which you can take in at either the equalÂly stimÂuÂlatÂing-soundÂing Medieval Crime MuseÂum in RothenÂburg or the TorÂture MuseÂum in AmsÂterÂdam, would get any of us modÂerns thinkÂing about conÂsidÂerÂing which musiÂcians of our own day deserve to be shackÂled to it. The Guardian’s Dave SimpÂson sugÂgests, among othÂers, “all bands with silÂly names,” “any musiÂcian called Sir who is over 60,” and “anyÂone who has ever appeared on The X FacÂtor, ever.” In this day and age they would all probÂaÂbly comÂplain of cruÂel and unusuÂal punÂishÂment, but as music-relatÂed torÂture devices go, the shame flute cerÂtainÂly seems preferÂable to ancient Greece’s “brazen bull.”
Though still a litÂtle-known hisÂtorÂiÂcal artiÂfact, the shame flute has regained some culÂturÂal curÂrenÂcy in recent years. It even inspired the name of a Finnish rock group, Flute of Shame. As the band memÂbers put it in an interÂview with Vice’s Josh SchneiÂder, “We were havÂing a night out in AmsÂterÂdam and found ourÂselves in a torÂture museÂum whilst lookÂing for the Banana Bar,” a well-known spot in the city’s red-light disÂtrict. “We saw the device and the rest is hisÂtoÂry.” Of course, any rock group that names itself after a torÂture device will draw comÂparÂisons to Iron MaidÂen, and jourÂnalÂisÂtic diliÂgence comÂpels SchneiÂder to ask Flute of Shame which band would win in a shredÂding conÂtest. “ProbÂaÂbly Iron MaidÂen,” the Finns respond, “but are they hapÂpy?”
via ClasÂsic FM
RelatÂed ConÂtent:
Meet the HurÂdy GurÂdy, the Hand-Cranked Medieval InstruÂment with 80 MovÂing Parts
Based in Seoul, ColÂin MarÂshall writes and broadÂcasts on cities, lanÂguage, and culÂture. His projects include the book The StateÂless City: a Walk through 21st-CenÂtuÂry Los AngeÂles and the video series The City in CinÂeÂma. FolÂlow him on TwitÂter at @colinmarshall or on FaceÂbook.
it does not look like a flute, it has a bell at the end. Looks more like a shawm or clarÂinet, or a sopraÂno sax. Come to think of it, I have a canÂdiÂdate.
Looks like the “clarÂinet of shame”. But a real flute does it’s best to shame the musiÂcian on any givÂen day. Sigh.
The word “flute” does not refer to only the sort of flute that AmerÂiÂcan marchÂing bands play. A recorder is a flute, for examÂple, i.e. a wind instruÂment havÂing no reed. I imagÂine old usage might have been even more variÂable.
Yeah I agree with Juniper.
this punÂishÂment was issued because you can’t, you won’t, and you don’t stop.
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