Painter Diego Rivera set the bar awfulÂly high for othÂer lovers when he—allegedly—ate a handÂful of his ex-wife FriÂda Kahlo’s creÂmains, fresh from the oven.
PerÂhaps he was hedgÂing his bets. The MexÂiÂcan govÂernÂment optÂed not to honÂor his express wish that their ashÂes should be co-minÂgled upon his death. Kahlo’s remains were placed in MexÂiÂco City’s RotunÂda of IllusÂtriÂous Men, and have since been transÂferred to their home, now the Museo FriÂda Kahlo.
Rivera lies in the PanÂteĂłn CivÂil de Dolores.
OthÂer creÂative expresÂsions of the grief that dogged him til his own death, three years latÂer:
His final paintÂing, The WaterÂmelÂons, a very MexÂiÂcan subÂject that’s also a tribÂute to Kahlo’s last work, Viva La Vida…
And a locked bathÂroom in which he decreed 6,000 phoÂtographs, 300 of Kahlo’s garÂments and perÂsonÂal items, and 12,000 docÂuÂments were to be housed until 15 years after his death.
Among the many revÂeÂlaÂtions when this chamÂber was belatÂedÂly unsealed in 2004, her clothÂing caused the biggest stir, parÂticÂuÂlarÂly the ways in which the colÂorÂful garÂments were adaptÂed to and informed by her physÂiÂcal disÂabilÂiÂties.
Her prosÂthetÂic leg, shod in an eye-catchÂing red boot was givÂen a place of honÂor in an exhibÂit at the VicÂtoÂria and Albert MuseÂum.,
These treaÂsures might have come to light earÂliÂer save for a judgÂment call on the part of Dolores OlmeÂdo, Rivera’s patron, forÂmer modÂel, and friend. DurÂing renÂoÂvaÂtions to turn the couple’s home into a museÂum, she had a peek and decidÂed the lipÂstick-imprintÂed love letÂters from some famous men FriÂda had bedÂded could damÂage Rivera’s repÂuÂtaÂtion.
In what way, it’s difÂfiÂcult to parse.
The couple’s hisÂtoÂry of extraÂmarÂiÂtal relaÂtions (includÂing Rivera’s dalÂliance with Kahlo’s sisÂter, ChristiÂna) weren’t exactÂly secret, and both of the playÂers had left the buildÂing.
One thing that’s takÂen for grantÂed is Kahlo’s pasÂsion for Rivera, whom she met as girl of 15. TemptÂing as it might be to view the relaÂtionÂship with 2020 gogÂgles, it would be a disÂserÂvice to Kahlo’s sense of her own narÂraÂtive. Self-examÂiÂnaÂtion was cenÂtral to her work. She was charÂacÂterÂisÂtiÂcalÂly avid in letÂters and diary entries, detailÂing her physÂiÂcal attracÂtion to every aspect of Rivera’s body, includÂing his giant belÂly “drawn tight and smooth as a sphere.” DitÂto her obsesÂsion with his many conÂquests.
Not surÂprisÂingÂly, she was capaÂble of penÂning a pretÂty spicy love letÂter herÂself, and the majorÂiÂty were aimed at her husÂband:
NothÂing comÂpares to your hands, nothÂing like the green-gold of your eyes. My body is filled with you for days and days. you are the mirÂror of the night. the vioÂlent flash of lightÂning. The dampÂness of the earth. The holÂlow of your armpits is my shelÂter. my finÂgers touch your blood. All my joy is to feel life spring from your flower-founÂtain that mine keeps to fill all the paths of my nerves which are yours.
Her most notoÂriÂous love letÂter does not appear to be one at first.
BedridÂden, and facÂing the ampuÂtaÂtion of a ganÂgrenous right leg that had already sacÂriÂficed some toes 20 years earÂliÂer, she directÂed the full force of her emoÂtions at Rivera.
The lover she’d tenÂderÂly pegged as “a boy frog standÂing on his hind legs” now appeared to her an “ugly son of a bitch,” madÂdenÂingÂly posÂsessed of the powÂer to seduce women (as he had seduced her).
You have to read all the way to the twist:
MexÂiÂco,
1953My dear Mr. Diego,
I’m writÂing this letÂter from a hosÂpiÂtal room before I am admitÂted into the operÂatÂing theÂatre. They want me to hurÂry, but I am deterÂmined to finÂish writÂing first, as I don’t want to leave anyÂthing unfinÂished. EspeÂcialÂly now that I know what they are up to. They want to hurt my pride by cutÂting a leg off. When they told me it would be necÂesÂsary to ampuÂtate, the news didn’t affect me the way everyÂbody expectÂed. No, I was already a maimed woman when I lost you, again, for the umpteenth time maybe, and still I surÂvived.
I am not afraid of pain and you know it. It is almost inherÂent to my being, although I conÂfess that I sufÂfered, and a great deal, when you cheatÂed on me, every time you did it, not just with my sisÂter but with so many othÂer women. How did they let themÂselves be fooled by you? You believe I was furiÂous about CristiÂna, but today I conÂfess that it wasn’t because of her. It was because of me and you. First of all because of me, since I’ve nevÂer been able to underÂstand what you looked and look for, what they give you that I couldn’t. Let’s not fool ourÂselves, Diego, I gave you everyÂthing that is humanÂly posÂsiÂble to offer and we both know that. But still, how the hell do you manÂage to seduce so many women when you’re such an ugly son of a bitch?
The reaÂson why I’m writÂing is not to accuse you of anyÂthing more than we’ve already accused each othÂer of in this and howÂevÂer many more bloody lives. It’s because I’m havÂing a leg cut off (damned thing, it got what it wantÂed in the end). I told you I’ve countÂed myself as incomÂplete for a long time, but why the fuck does everyÂbody else need to know about it too? Now my fragÂmenÂtaÂtion will be obviÂous for everyÂone to see, for you to see… That’s why I’m telling you before you hear it on the grapevine. ForÂgive my not going to your house to say this in perÂson, but givÂen the cirÂcumÂstances and my conÂdiÂtion, I’m not allowed to leave the room, not even to use the bathÂroom. It’s not my intenÂtion to make you or anyÂone else feel pity, and I don’t want you to feel guilty. I’m writÂing to let you know I’m releasÂing you, I’m ampuÂtatÂing you. Be hapÂpy and nevÂer seek me again. I don’t want to hear from you, I don’t want you to hear from me. If there is anyÂthing I’d enjoy before I die, it’d be not havÂing to see your fuckÂing horÂriÂble basÂtard face wanÂderÂing around my garÂden.
That is all, I can now go to be chopped up in peace.
Good bye from someÂbody who is crazy and veheÂmentÂly in love with you,
Your FriÂda
This is a love letÂter masÂqueradÂing as a doozy of a break up letÂter. The refÂerÂences to ampuÂtaÂtion are both litÂerÂal and metaphorÂiÂcal:
No doubt, she was sinÂcere, but this couÂple, rather than holdÂing themÂselves accountÂable, excelled at reverÂsals. In the end the letter’s threat proved idle. ShortÂly before her death, the two appeared togethÂer in pubÂlic, at a demonÂstraÂtion to protest the C.I.A.’s efforts to overÂthrow the leftÂist Guatemalan regime.
Image via BrookÂlyn MuseÂum
Once FriÂda was safeÂly laid to rest, by which we mean rumored to have sat bolt upright as her casÂket was slid into the incerÂaÂtor, Rivera mused in his autoÂbiÂogÂraÂphy:
Too late now I realÂized the most wonÂderÂful part of my life had been my love for FriÂda. But I could not realÂly say that givÂen “anothÂer chance” I would have behaved toward her any difÂferÂentÂly than I had. Every man is the prodÂuct of the social atmosÂphere in which he grows up and I am what I am…I had nevÂer had any morals at all and had lived only for pleaÂsure where I found it. I was not good. I could disÂcern othÂer peoÂple’s weakÂnessÂes easÂiÂly, espeÂcialÂly men’s, and then I would play upon them for no worthÂwhile reaÂson. If I loved a woman, the more I wantÂed to hurt her. FriÂda was only the most obviÂous vicÂtim of this disÂgustÂing trait.
via LetÂters of Note and the book, LetÂters of Note: Love.
RelatÂed ConÂtent:
Take a VirÂtuÂal Tour of FriÂda Kahlo’s Blue House Free Online
What the IconÂic PaintÂing, “The Two Fridas,” ActuÂalÂly Tells Us About FriÂda Kahlo
Ayun HalÂlÂiÂday is an author, illusÂtraÂtor, theÂater makÂer and Chief PriÂmaÂtolÂoÂgist of the East VilÂlage Inky zine. FolÂlow her @AyunHalliday.