I was born in the City of the FlowÂland PeoÂple, made my way to Stink Onion upon reachÂing matuÂriÂty, then onward to New Yew Tree VilÂlage where I have lived for the last 217 moons.
Look up some of your key co-ordiÂnates in The Atlas of True Names and you too can have a perÂsonÂal hisÂtoÂry as mythÂic-soundÂing as mine. The maps—for the UK, USA, CanaÂda, and World—replace modÂern geoÂgraphÂiÂcal names with the origÂiÂnal etyÂmoÂlogÂiÂcal roots of cities, counÂtries, and bodÂies of water, transÂlatÂed into EngÂlish. Their webÂsite picks the “Sahara desert” to illusÂtrate the true name selecÂtion process. Their choÂsen label “The Tawny One” has its basis in es-sahra, transÂlatÂed from the AraÂbic as “the fawn colÂored desert”. It would be interÂestÂing to learn how many proÂfesÂsionÂal transÂlaÂtors lent a hand with the etyÂmoÂlogÂiÂcal parsÂing. There are a lot of lanÂguages in this world and we all know the havÂoc Google TransÂlate can wreak.
MarÂried carÂtogÂraÂphers (and Lord of the Rings fans) Stephan Hormes and Silke Peust acknowlÂedge that there could be alterÂnates to their transÂlaÂtions. This should come as a relief to the civic boostÂers of PhiladelÂphia. QuibÂblers will no doubt enjoy takÂing issue with Hormes and Peust’s choicÂes. HopeÂfulÂly, any resultÂing interÂnet brawls will take place on a higher—and dustier—plateau than those where vulÂtures pick hapÂless celebriÂties to shreds.
Order one of these maps and pack it along on your sumÂmer road trip. Even if younger famÂiÂly memÂbers can’t be bothÂered to learn how to navÂiÂgate withÂout a phone, the narÂraÂtiveÂly rich names are sure to leavÂen those long hours in the car. (How badÂly do you have to go, Jason? Can you hold out until Table or should DadÂdy pull over in the ValÂley of the DarkÂland Dweller?)
It’s livÂing hisÂtoÂry in travÂel verÂsion.
RelatÂed ConÂtent:
DownÂload Eight Free LecÂtures on The HobÂbit by “The Tolkien ProÂfesÂsor,” Corey Olsen
Willie NelÂson AudiÂtions for The HobÂbit Film Sequel, Turns 80 Today
Ayun HalÂlÂiÂday is the author of sevÂen books includÂing the increasÂingÂly obsoÂlete Zinester’s Guide to NYC and No Touch MonÂkey! and OthÂer TravÂel Lessons Learned Too Late. FolÂlow her @AyunHallliday